A couple of months ago we decided to pair up with One Poll, a research company specializing in online polling, to learn a little more about sex. You might even say we had a bit of a sexploration. With One Poll's technology, we were able to survey 2,000 Americans and ask them about sex, what they're trying, and how comfortable they are with their partners. As a millennial lingerie company, we're naturally pretty sex-positive. We will always encourage you to go after your pleasure because we all deserve a satisfying sex-life. And the first steps to achieving this? Believing you deserve it and speaking up for yourself. And guess what we found...
- When partners are comfortable expressing their own needs, it leads to better sex — according to 90% of respondents.
- However, it takes the average respondent a little over three months to feel comfortable bringing up personal sexual interests to their partner.
- The top reason they wait? Results found 40% haven’t brought their kink up because they’re worried their partner will leave, while the same number are worried about being judged.
What do we think? No matter what your anxieties or insecurities are in the bedroom, someone else has felt them too. We hope you continue to make your pleasure a priority and know that you deserve a full sex-life as much as anyone else. Even if there's a part of yourself you're still learning to love or a kink you're feeling embarrassed by, we want you to know that your pleasure is as important as anyone else's. Your sexual desires are normal. Being turned on by things you're not "supposed" to do is normal. Your body is normal. You're normal. As author Emily Naogski, Ph.D would say we're all made of "the same parts, organized in different ways."
Learning about your body and how to love and pleasure it are important parts of the journey towards a happy sex-life. As a lingerie company, we believe that gifting yourself lingerie is an intoxicating way to celebrate all of your body's glory and remind you how beautiful and sexy you are. Groundbreaking, right? But, seriously, if we can recognize the power of dressing for success, we can recognize our ability to channel those same feelings from our intimate apparel.
- In fact, 90% of respondents believe knowing — and being comfortable in — your own body leads to better sex.
- The average respondent said their partner has turned them onto seven new things — sex toys, new positions or kinks — and reports trying about two new things with their partner each month.
- One way people are exploring in our digital age is nudes. The survey reported that the top reason for sending nudes is to keep the romance alive (37%), while 29% of respondents send nudes because it makes them feel confident or sexy.
- However, nudes are only one way that individuals are exploring. Want to know what people are trying the most? Wearing lingerie — 36% of participants having tried spicing things up with their intimates.
- Half of respondents (51%) were interested in lingerie because it turns their partner on, while 44% said they wear lingerie for their own confidence and sexiness.
- 24% of respondents reported being turned on by their partner feeling sexier in lingerie!
We loved hearing that there are plenty of people out there who agree with us and are wearing and buying lingerie for themselves. We could go on about the multitude of reasons why you should try wearing lingerie for yourself, but you're probably wondering how else respondents reported keeping things interesting. Let's dive in:
- 33% of respondents have sexted during the day
- 24.5% of respondents tried buying a sex toy together
- 23.5 % have watched porn together
- 17.65% have masturbated in front of each other
- 11% have tried a threeway or orgy
- 10.75% have seen a sex therapist
- 10.5% have attended a sex/kink party
- 10.5% have tried an open relationship
But... 78% of respondents would still like to be more adventurous than they currently are. Does this sound like you too? If so, curiosity, time, and exploring will be your friends in this journey. While this is a self-exploration, you don't have to do it alone (or just through sex). We challenge you to talk to friends, find podcasts, try therapy, and read as much as you can. The more you know, about your body, pleasure, and stress, the more confident you'll be in the sheets. And call us crazy, but we think this confidence will follow to the streets.
While we might not be sexperts (sex therapists, sex educations, etc.), us sex positive gals have a few thoughts on how to inspire you to make your pleasure more of a priority:
The power of positive affirmations: One way to work on your confidence and boost your mood is by starting your day with this habit that can actually change the way you think for the better. When done correctly, positive affirmations can improve your self-image.
Know when to press pause: Don't try to force yourself to want to have sex if you're not feeling it. It's important to let yourself fully feel what you're experiencing and go through your natural stress response cycle rather than to dismiss your feels.
Make your desires reality: Do you know exactly what you want to watch to get off? That type of porn you're typing into your search bar, is it something you can try in real life? This is advice that @miss_fong_fong gave us once and we'll never forget.
Thanks for reading, it's been a pleasure having you along for the ride!